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2025-10-13

Happy Thanksgiving

When I took an assessment test for a remote job that was recommended to me, I wasn’t expecting the humbling moment that came next. I went through the five stages of grief.

1. Denial

I denied my poor performance.

2. Anger

I resented the entire HR department.

3. Bargaining

I thought about writing a follow up email excusing my poor performance.

4. Depression

I started to doubt my career choice and explore the possibility of living out of my car.

I am all too familiar with failure. I have tried and failed at many things. The initial shock of having a boundary placed around something that you had hoped to achieve or attain is much like a break-up. When the person you had expected to share a part of your life with and had opened up to in an emotional and physical sense has now decided, after seeing you naked, to put a boundary around themselves to keep you out, it can feel like you've been dragged across asphalt and immediately thrown into a salt bath.

Whatever the reason is, I can’t help but internalize the rejection and feel a great sense of shame. This weird unnecessary desire to be perfect gets reminded that it is unachievable in this world. There is a comforting woo-woo philosophy I believe in. Often times opportunities that we had hoped for, longed for, prayed for end up escaping our grasp because they weren’t meant for us. Plain and simple.

This spiritual way of thinking is hard for the ego but nonetheless relevant to the self. As I attempt to live a life more aligned with my path, I must accept these small defeats for the greater good of my own authentic storyline. That isn’t to say that I give up on a goal entirely. Never give up! But move on from the rejection and keep pushing along.

5. Acceptance