2025-12-21
River Beers with a Shy Boy
Last summer, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years and immediately started dating a dude who worked at a local bike shop. He spoke French, was very shy, and had a pretty decent drinking problem.
I, obviously, had no idea the drinking was an issue until a few weeks into dating and I started to notice all our activities revolved around the steady consumption of alcohol.
It being summer in Calgary, we spent a lot of time enjoying river beers (where you sit anywhere along the glorious Bow River and enjoy some wobbly pops while watching the birds and the occasional rafters bob downstream).
There were a few times when I got to see him before the stream of beers commenced and it wasn't good. But it also wasn't bad. Not bad enough to take note of the rose-tinted glasses I had on.
The moments where he was sober (during work hours and first thing in the morning), he would not talk. He would not say a single word. He was practically mute. Unable to have a two way conversation with him, I tried to fill the space with my own soliloquy. God was it irksome.
And when he would drink, I started to notice he would talk at me. He talked so much there were a few times I ended up nodding off. The topics were bikes and cars, which was odd considering he didn't drive (drinking problem-related red flag).
After about two months I started to notice that this man who suffered from such intense timidity was medicating himself with alcohol as some sort of "cure". And once I peered over the rose-tinted glasses I couldn't stop looking. A barrage of red flags came flapping in the wind of rationality and I realized this was never going to sustain itself.
I started dreading our hangouts and got annoyed when he wanted to see me more than once a week for three hours. I ended things outside a local cafe. It was tedious and drawn out. He kept lying to me and himself. "Pathetic" was the word that kept echoing in my head in those moments. The patrons at the cafe had first class seats as they sat at the counter facing the window with their drinks and slices of pie.
Right before we departed, he grabbed me and kissed me on the lips as my body recoiled from his embrace. I wouldn't be able to visit the cafe for a few weeks until the memory dissipated from the minds of all the coffee shop loyalists who'd been witness to this awkwardly and very obvious breakup.
I still haven't be able to return.